The type of post I usually avoid writing
A subtitle for this post could be "reasons why I hate the gym".
Going to the gym is un-fun for me for a number of reasons (not the least of which is my disdain for physical exertion). First, it is always a very sociological experience and that's bad because sometimes I just want to escape. It's sociological because it always strikes me as very unnatural and a product of modern (post-modern?) times. Not so long ago, our lives were such that we didn't have to sit on a stationary bike for 30 minutes to get exercise. Now, we have to schedule exercise, and for those not lucky enough to have a student ID at an amazing facility, something we have to pay for. This is just strange. It also strikes me as an enormously alienating experience. There are 100 people working out in the same building. You don't look at each other. You certainly don't talk to each other. And when at all possible, you appear completely removed from the situation by listening to an ipod, reading a book, flipping through a magazine, or watching something you aren't even interested in on televisions mounted from the ceiling. Again - so strange.
But, my main reason for hating the gym is much more female, and for that I apologize. I hate seeing all the other women at the gym (while of course, pretending that I'm not noticing). Even as a fairly confident woman, I can't help put notice how nice the girl on the stair-steppers legs are. Or how flat the girl on the mats stomach is. Or how firm the runner's derriere. I also can't help but feel awkward and self-conscious about how I look, how I walk, how I ride, stretch, lift, etc. Plus, there's all the implicit competition. I almost felt that, today, the girl next to me and I were secretly noting who did more crunches. I don't even know the girl. I certainly couldn't tell you what her face looked like, though I will remember for days how much nicer her legs were than mine.
Is this the fate only of women? Do men check each other out at the gym and hate the way they look for 40 minutes while working out??
And, finally, for those who want more Moses, he's lying across my arm right now, making it very difficult to type, and very hard to ignore his plea for attention. So, I'm done.
5 comments:
I firmly believe that is a "woman" thing. Let me explain:
I have worked in many office situations. During the day, while performing my work, I had the opportunity to overhear many conversations between women co-workers. Comments like, "she looks like a prostitute," "did you see that dress she was wearing," "she is such a fake," etc, etc, furthermore. I don't recall ever hearing a man say, "he looks like a gigolo," "did you see how tight his pants were," or "he is such a phony," (well maybe that one.) I also worked with a woman who thought all other women were after her husband. I have seen more sociological competition in the female side. It might be a left side/right side of the brain thing. Men just like to compete athletically, not muscle for muscle, and definitely not comparing derrierres.
I'm going to have to second the "female" verdict, but for a few different reasons.
1) Culturally, the attractiveness of a man is much less committed to a single ideal. Whereas a vast majority of women are all striving for the same thing (flat stomach, toned legs, tight ass, breasts so magnificent they almost never occur naturally), there is much more room for variation in men. For example, the difference between Brad Pitt, Snoop Dogg, Vinn Diesel, Tommy Lee, and that homo Orlando Bloom is exponentially greater than the difference between Hollywood actresses, Victoria's Secret Models, and female musicians and porn stars. So yeah, I could go work out all the time and get huge to attract women, or I could slap on a pair of Etenies and a birdhouse shirt and stay scrawny, or just pick up some rimmed glasses and a guitar. They all work.
2) Guys oftentimes train for athletic performance over physical attrativeness- the physical requirements for a defensive lineman are different from a point guard are different from professional golf. So- sure I see dude with 22 inch biceps at the gym and say "Holy Shit! Those are sweet!" without wishing I had my own pair.
3) Can I go with sociobiology? I'm running out of time before a test so it will be short-ish. From what I've read, it seems at least quasi-unnatural for men to be monogamous, where females benefit much more from a continous supportive relationship. Hence, working out for men is a more subconsciously, positively framed "Maybe this will help me spread my genes to a horde of women!" than the female mindset of "I have to do this to be able to keep my man, who will probably leave or look for sex somewhere else anyway." There is more to it than that... but I really have to go.
But guys do totally check each other out- I'll quote Dumb and Dumber "That's a tight butt!" "Yeah, he must workout!"
yeah, I rarely "hate" the way I look after the gym. I felt insecure the first time I went in highschool, but now as long as I'm lifting with someone else I pretty much ignore everyone else.
I sypathize much more with your description of how weird the gym is. I also can't really figure out why 250 people line up to run in place on the treadmills at the balley's downtown in Denver, where they're all lined up in front of the window, and driving by the building gives me an erie feeling. It seems like something out of the matrix or 1984. I don't work out unless it's with someone else, so it doubles as social time and meaningful personal interaction, or during sports, which isn't the same thing at all. Sometimes I'll run to get in shape for sports, but even that seems a little weird to me.
Also, why aren't we harvesting the energy generated by all of those treadmills? I really think Balley's, and 24 hour fitness, to a greater degree, could power their building and every other in a 5 mile radius for free.
I'm gonna have to disagree with the lads a bit. I agree that there is a more homogenized ideal of attractiveness for women, so it's certainly not necessary for a man to be as obsessed with fitness. Still, many of the guys I know think it's important and even stress out a little about it, although they probably only admit it to me knowing can sympathize and I won't rat them out. I think it might be a result of women "asking him out" and attractiveness now being more of a factor for men than economic stability. However, since more women still want to be asked out than do the asking, I don't think it'll ever be as socially problematic for a man to be overweight as it is for a woman.
Oh, and let's not forget the #2 annoying thing about gyms: the creepy way in which men check out women - tiny and not so tiny. It makes me feel either a)disgusted because they're testing the tensile strength of my sports bra with their gazes, or b)disgusted because they're looking at another girl with the same leering indecency and disregard for anything but her exterior. DON'T THINK WE DON'T NOTICE, IDIOT.
Rant finis.
Well, I truly am enjoying the banter. I agree with the men and with the women. I actually enjoy going to the gym and seeing how odd it is that everyone is in their own little zone. It makes me wonder what in the heck is going on in their heads. I often stare for a while at a single person trying to figure out what is going on and then when they catch me staring just gaze at them for a minute and look away...sort of saying "Yes I was looking at you, and I am not ashamed of it." As a male, I do admit to checking out the females at the gym. They are just really hard to miss, but in my defense, I am not just looking at them like some piece of meat. Sometimes it is just to appreciate the beauty of the person...it doesn't mean that I want to take them right there on the weight bench. And what makes it even more difficult is that we know we shouldn't look so we have to take like 40 looks just to get the equivalent of one good look. In fact, if you watch long enough they usually do something that turns you off. Now, I personally am not comfortable with myself at the gym and find it difficult to not wish that I look like the more fit and toned guys. I find that I usually am criticizing them in my head, finding things that I am better than them at...in order to justify to myself the fact that I am less muscle-bound.
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